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2008 resolution-
1) school attendance (>90%).
2) finish works before sem/year end.
3) save another 1k or more.
4) learn driving when reach 18.
5) lead a different life from 2007.
6) <50kg.
bonus- if i can get love,
7)change heck care attitude, explain to people who misunderstood me.
8)dont be afraid of losing face.
9)be more confident!

March 2005
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i will be taking a short hiatus due to the slacking of my com and the coming exam.

dont miss me too much. hahaa jk.

will be back after exam or when i feel like posting an entry i will be here.

take care people. anything sms me or call me. i will be more willing to entertain you guys with my laughter and voice. muahahahahaa. Sometime you won't know what fate is deciding upon...

I have just graduate from my primary school life going on to secondary life full of hope and excitement. On the end of 2002 we need to go to our new school for orientation day so I went to Woodgrove Secondary which I'm going to spend 4 years there, after all those rubbish talk by the new principal and some of the teachers my mother and I proceed to buy textbooks and uniforms, this is where the first time I met him...

I was queuing up to buy my textbooks and there was this guy, his action irritated me in return I give him a stare and my black face showed out until I leave the queue. What he did? Actually nothing much, it's just that he took my mother order and despite seeing the long queue behind us he played with him friend while serving us. And I told my mum " ma, I think I'm very suay leh got this type of senior in the school" giving a very irritated voice while talking. Deep in my heart I have been cursing him and I swear I will dislike him throughout my life in Woodgrove, ok I will pretty childish at that time.

2003 I started studying in Woodgrove and I have made a few new friends and we do things almost together including looking at our school basketball guys while walking past when they are having training. This time while walking past a back view attracted me, he is wearing a number 10 basketball jersey of average size and height but there was this type of feeling which makes me wanting to know more about him. Being a daring and naive typical 13 year's old girl, I went forward to the basketball teacher who was also my English teacher, "Mr. Ben, what was that guy name?" pointing at him. I was sitting at the benches in the canteen and there was a short break so he was trying to get himself a drink and Mr. Ben shouted to that guy "J**** that girl wanted to know your name leh can I tell her?" he talk while pointing his finger at me, that guy shook his head and Mr. Ben turn and say "He say cannot tell you leh" I was like so embarrassed and I'm not deaf nor am I blind, I know he said no but from then now I knew his name.

I tried ways to know him and finally I managed to get his number from his friends but I'm a mannered kid I ask him personally before I messaged him but the process of asking his number was pretty funny. "Eh what is your number?" I shouted real loud cause the distance was pretty far; his friends shouted out the number and at that time I already remember parts of his number so I quickly check if the number was the same, in fact it was really his number but he keep saying that's his friend number but not his I said never mind to him and continues walking but slowly. Who knows he walked toward us and said "You give me a paper I help you write." I say "No need, I got good memory I have already remember it." Then we departed. I was real happy at that time because he was my idol, soon I messaged him and we talk quite a lots and I asked him for his messenger email so we chatted online soon. Months pass and I realize that I fall for him though I told my friends I won't fall for him, I asked his detail and his past. There was once I went to the art room and I saw this piece of artwork hanged up on the wall but his name was on it, he drew a keychain of his. I thought he must have lost this keychain which he like a lots, so I went to make one almost the same as the one he drew and wanted give it to him. We meet up at the MRT station and I give it to him and we departed. He messaged me a thank you and asks me why I bought this for him so I told him and he told me that the keychain was from his ex. I was quite sad because it mean that his ex stand a place in his heart, like I have said I was pretty childish and I done some childish stuff at that time.

There was once the group of us was talking to the book stall aunty and I forgotten how we get into the topic but this is what the aunty say "That J**** once helped me to sell book, he was quite a funny and nice guy." After the aunty said this something flash back my mind the guy I said I will hate him forever was him and I was shocked. So I know him since 2002 and maybe that was why when I first saw his back view and I wanted to know him. There was once the group of him was playing a game and I was a victim of their game, they ask him to pass me a rubbish card and ask me to take but I didn't take it and I just shook my head and walked away but deep in my heart I was very happy and I could even hear the heartbeat of my heart.

A year pass, now it is 2004 he is no longer in Woodgrove I was no longer motivated I tend to skip school and I was turning into some one whom everyone dislikes. On a period I lost contact with him because he blocked me until a month before my birthday he sent me a message through Hi5 "ok lah.. i know u very sad in your journal.. and i know tt guy is not refering to me liao.. den now i can be your fren over again.. cheer up girl.." but obviously I have not get over him though the time was pretty long maybe it's the way I wrote it make him misunderstand or he just forget what he told me? But the moment I check my mail and I saw the message he send him I was overjoyed and I don't know what to reply so I just anyhow type in. And he unblocked me and he said "nothing to talk? I thought you got a lot of thing wanting to tell me?" Then I was quite surprised and I say I got nothing to say and he ok.
Soon it was going to reach Christmas I bought him a present and wanted to give him so I ask him out and when we meet up he bought his cousin along and I already plan something when I saw him which is take a picture of his but his damn cousin spot us doing it thus the picture taken was blur, that was the only chance and yet his cousin destroy it but never mind I managed to see him and I received a present from him too.

Now its 2005 time do fly fast, soon it going to be two to three year after knowing him. All thanks to him that I have become more mature and more understanding, there is something I wanted to tell him but I just don't dare so I shall write it here. He changed my life, my thinking and makes me a better person. Maybe god knows I'm bad thus bestow me a wonderful guy to enter my life. He motivate me toward my goals and my aims, he make my life interesting but sometime sad. I kept those entire magazines which I know that have his face appeared on and will look at it whenever I want to think of the past. As for now I wished to study hard for my art and get into LaSalle and graduate hoping to get into the same industry as him. There was more but those were sad little things which I don't think it's worth my time writing it down hence I won't write it.

To him: Maybe you don't know that I still have a feeling on you but it's alright, after the time you unblock me I don't dare to confess to you. I do read your blog and always wanted to know how well is your life now, recently I find out that you are quite depress because of your new ex, I hope to cheer you up but I do not know how to, I tried chatting with you on msn but after that my guts went missing. I just know you will get over her soon and be happier, I will always be right behind you supporting you just like how those little fans supporting their idol. Whenever you are sad remember I will lend you a listening ear I know you won't find me when you are sad. I will remember all those words you said to me they are useful to me, I know. I may not appear in your mind whenever you are happy but please think of me when you are sad ok?
Little bit in my life make up me :> i have got this lousy com which spoilt when exam are coming nearer and nearer. so wont blog if the com dont wanna on. and count down 5 days to my love story and i wont blog for about a week.

today school was ok. art was fine. had a little chat with aline after school at cwp cause gp they all go le. nothing else bah. they must be happily playing pool now. and here im poor and alone.

faster 24~ ewww

aim for a b4 for all subjects =B

sat i wanna go out!
i wanna see him!
and i wanna go escape! yaya im blogging for sunday sake. LOL now it's 1:35am (sat going to sun) and im still here it's because my neeon low batt. damn it. freaking lousy.

i just got back and i had a great(?) fun just now. it seem long i had not been so childish and it seem long that we had not played like this. saw jamie and margaret, wished her a happy birthday hahaha. ate a mint icecream which i think quite ok but that boonhan say it's hot. where got?

ermmm after playing for a few hours go we go to vista buy icecream again. when come back saw yang they all, had a little talk ar? oh ya i forget to say that i watched one more chance aka 'one good man' (direct translate from chinese) quite funny but i find nothing touching about it.

oh ya back to candles. i made quite a lots of pattern with it. takes some pic and will post it up if jasmine send me soon. she's sucha lazy ass loh. =x

think back. time flies. when i was sec one i once asked him to come and watch i co perform. ( i used to be in co) but he didnt come. actually i like co but for some reason i hated it. i love to play dizi i love the instrument. but........ if im given a chance i will go back if all the teacher change.

it seem so long i have not write a long entry. and it seem like i havent bath my hammy for about 3 weeks. and it seem like i have not chatted with him for a long time. it seem like i dont have much time for my study. it seem like i start to hate myself. it seem like im losing heart in everything i do. it seem like..............................

everything is messed up. i yearn for better life, but i get nothing. i think i cant make it into lasalle. my mum cpf wasnt enough for it. and she need money now. LOTS of money. everytime is money issue. maybe i will go poly but which poly will accept me? haiiii i gonna kill myself.

everytime i have this hard feeling. sometime i wanna say something out i will stop in the end. this is not me. im famous for my frank. but now........ haiiii



im going to get depression soon. i will get killed but it's nobody business. I SIMPLY HATE MYSELF! ALL THING SUCK. sometime i just cant get this straight. _-_-_-_-> dead...... yesterday school was quite ok. nothing much also but school was short. get quite a lots of homeworks but fear not i will use this 2 days to complete those tasks and my art prep works.

went home straight because i have to take all my books home. damn school. =x and it was so heavy loh. and went to prepare for the bbq. reach cwp nana and i bought the sling bag and top-up the ez-link card. after that meet up with jasmine then go to the taxi stand meet up the gb. LOL! there was freaking boring lucky i have my mp3 with me.

went there to watch white chick --. my 2nd time watching. and go eat a bit after that went to admiralty to eat mac. evon sabo me. put lots of oreo into my ice-cream. ARGH and went home shortly after that.

and i was quite tired and slept. LOL!

today maybe going pool-ing. LOL but i want play candle cause tomorrow all of them cant play. AND AND jasmine also want play loh. SIANS! working sucks =x i have my own mp3 now =B
though it look like a gold bar but quite ok lah. loaded my songs and tadah~

and i made my own bank account. happy happy.

sch was fine. lots of teacher no come. good. ok bb this morning wake up use computer and log into friendster! SURPRISED! friendster can put video. and i put weichoong's video inside. go my friendster and see bah. SO COOL! i think i will love lots of stuff inside soon. ok done with my friendster stuff.

im sick. stomach cramp. FREAK! and running nose. later still have to go library with aline. yawns. im waiting for my mp3 to come!! later have to do lots of undone homework. anyway why no one interested in my greeny lens? havent use one leh. today art was utterly BAD! my idea was rejected by hanifa and im the last one to go. FREAK! and im lost, i dont know to listen to hanifa or ms nana. how i wish my teacher is ms dee. sigh~

and today first time! i forgot to bring my physic and chem textbook. COOL MAN! but i was counted QUITE lucky because both teacher never catch me. BAH HOO BAH BOO!

today after school went to shop and save and help tina buy her f&n stuff. actually i should go f&n hor? im so aunty but too bad i hate to write those long theory if not you all will taste my good food. LOL! and i bought some agar powder and choco. and i was so tired that i ask them if wanna take cab. and we flag a cab i rushed in because behind got another cab and i scare if im slow then green light liao behind the cab will horn. AND! i knock my head on the top of the entrance of the cab. REAL HARD LOH! farktard. PAIN LEH! i become retarded now =/

oh ya yesterday i was watching 'Beyond The aXis of Truth 2' wah the show was so nice cause i can predict leh! LOL and my dad suddenly tell me that he got stella huang no. cause that time she knock onto my dad cab and she say if anything just call her. and my dad told me before liao loh and now he keep repeat. maybe i will kop the no. and give him cause he like stella huang.

oh ya i think i really need to sell my contact lens hard until it's sold. okok the lens is BRAND NEW, GREEN and 2oo DEGREE selling at $18. please consider. today i think i will have alots of things to tell but i will keep it short.

firstly~ GREEN CONTACT LENS - 2oo degree selling at $18. who wanna buy please tell me either in my tag or pm me ok?

second~ who ever have this following song can send it to me in msn?
-shen hu xi ; yu hen/heng
-zheng fu zi ji ; huang yida
ok so who ever got this 2 song please please send to me ok?

i dont know why im so unlucky! everytime i want what thing the color alway not the one i like =(
this time my dad bought the zen neeon - creative from his friend co. NO PURPLE LOH! and beige color leh so er xin cause left yellow,red and beige mah then i take beige loh i was thinking if i dirty it then it might look like purple mah so i will look at it on wed or thur and all those song i downloaded wasnt waste =B but lucky is that they got purple sticker!! YEAH~

today school was alright. art was fine and later im going to clean the floor and earn myself $10 and tomorrow taxi fare~ weeUwee~ oh ya i must do my art! people sec 3 draw the art so nice i cannot lose to him! i must draw nicer nicer AND NICER~

think i will not get a good phone after i have mp3 so might go get a nokia phone with camera with zoom in function! yeah~ and not 65k color screen loh so lousy!

ok now i have to happy happy download song again~ wee~

REMEMBER~ those who have the song please send me and the color lens who wanna buy please inform me ok? yawns. one more day to school reopen huh? i dont wanna go back to school lah!!! the holiday is not enough loh. anyway today is my cousin birthday and now im sitting infront of my computer deciding if i should go anot? i love kids but i hate to entertain them and if they play i will be sitting alone SO BORING LOH! my mum go party liao later dad driving cab then me? maybe i will be staying at home but if i never go my cousin house i sure kana say one!

just watch a video made my raymond ex. wah touching leh!!! i wonder what make them break you know? they look so loving in the pic and i think they will get married sooner or later that kind one but who knows they... poor thing. and they used the song name ai hen jian dan i think it suit the whole video. great job :>

i havent do my math worksheet yet. DAMN IT! no mood lah im still in holiday mood. I WANNA GO OUT! AHHHH

i wanna download lots of songs!!! but whenever i like that song and i wanna download i already what song i wanna download. oh ya my dad's friends selling creative zen for - $310 loh! cheaper then outside but he say lot of people wanna the purple and blue color! damn how how? should i buy outside one got purple and blue but $329 or save $19 and buy one color i dont like one? i told you guys GOD's BLIND! farktard look nicer? or farkturd? BAH HOO BAH BOO! sickening lah. sians.

anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY COUSIN~
___________________________________________________________________

i didnt go to the party due to some reason. im now freaking bored. i find myself more and more anti-social. dont know why also but i just dont like hanging out anymore. sometime my temper is so hot and sometime i just feel so sad. i know i shouldnt think about guys at this moment, im still a kid i know. but can feeling control one meh? no right. KNS! i hope to get him off my mind right now, seeing him so happy now i think im happy too?

now i have got this kind of miserable feeling inside my heart, i dont know how to describe but just feel like crying. maybe my depression is coming back, hope not. nowaday i see everyone is sad over someone they like i myself also feel very sad for them, i hear what they wanna say but none of them wanna listen to me. i know im very irritating because im also saying the same thing but im also human i listen to you guys i also want you guys to listen to my sorrow what. i dont know lah.

FASTER O LVL! i wanna go lasalle!!!! FARKTARD!!!!!!!!!
LASALLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW The Bottom Line-

The quality of service you get will steadily improve. It's good karma coming back!

In Detail-

The stars are working overtime to make sure that your career and love life are making positive alliances, so it's time to get serious and ask for what's due to you from the powers that be and your sweetie both. If you're single, it's a great time to ask yourself what it is you really need from a relationship as opposed to what you think you want, and reconcile the differences between the two. All this hardworking energy pays off in more ways than you know.

you all believe ar? everytime write the same i see also sian. if not i got nothing to do i wont even look at it! BULLSHYT!

yawns i'm so tired now, woke up at 7 plus and sleep back. who knows at 10 plus i woke up again! farkturd! awww you know the reason? I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAH!

i dream that i die of car accident, i went to the dont know is hell or heaven. then i saw one ghost i xia dao then one friendly ghost come talk to me. then dont know why suddenly the place got activity one. what hold on to one thing got wheel one then race with other ghost and the organiser of this activity is him --. and his cousin is my teammate. WTF! in the end my team win so his cousin and me got prize and = to hell note. PIANG EH! and i got wake up.

XIA SI WO LOH! see their face i xia dao. see the ghost face i xia dao. tell me is this a nightmare? YES RIGHT? ewwww

initially wanna go escape one. but i think no hope liao bah. SIANS! everytime my trip to escape sure *POOF* haii when can i laugh until my lung come out? I WANT GO ESCAPE thoughi know waste $$ but once in a while leh!

oh ya i also dream that my dad no $$ and he lost his job. please please everyone can lose job but not my dad. if he no $$ = i no $$ and i cannot no $$ understand? i tell you GOD! you are blind also bully good people like me. one day i go up hor i sure complain till you deaf!
FARKTURD!

saw his frienster got one pic is he take with sly the pussy cat. EEYER! er xin *PUIS* tomorrow is my cousin bday who can accompany me go? I DONT WANNA GO ALONE LAH! all kids then i teenage. WAH PIANG! guess what i find out from the art room? HIS ART WORK LOH! freaking happy you know?? and actually we saw his art piece long time ago but we didnt turn the back and take a look until today hanifa took all art pieces out to let us paint on it and i saw one nude the there wrote a malay name and he/she from 2oo2 - 3e4 so i thought that maybe his art work also in there then i realise it when aline told me it's just in front of me and i was hitting the art piece just now. took a pic of it and i tear out the paper that got his name cause it's a compeition. SO HAPPY CAN?

but after all his art was destroy by them all. haii so nice loh the art and hanifa say no one want it so must paint it white to reuse and before that i asked her if i can take it home she say must ask before i take then she just color it. NO CHANCE TO ASK LOH!

did some painting ( all white color painting lah! ) also nothing lah then go cwp walk walk and buy thing and EAT THINGS! YEAH! there open one bubble tea shop~ IM GOING TO DRINK AND EAT!!! more and more fat le. BO BIAN I LOVE EATING!

BB~ yesterday had a fun and great day. ( perhaps )

went to ktv with ek,kh and jasmine and im late for 1 hour so do jasmine but nevermind cause i also dont feel like singing. this few days i dont feel like singing in ktv, taking picture in neoprint machine. dont know why also...

after ktv i went home to change cause my clothes SUCK! and meet nana under my block and we walk there meet up jasmine,ek and kh. AND AND AND! i went to eat lah. DAMN HUNGRY!!! tell you all lah hungry ghost havent go back yet leh because we still here. oh yeah actually i wanna call nana to wear mickey clothes but dont know why i dont feel like calling then i just change into my mickey and when i come down nana also wear mickey. SEE? this is call true friends. LOL true friends dont ask each other and we can do the same thing. LOLOL! jk~ actually this happen everytime. whenever i called her my phone will either ring or she will scold me when she pick up the phone and scold me saying she wanna call me and her phone ring. SEE GHOST AR!

went to pool for a few hours and guess what we saw there? A GROUP OF FAT ASS! omg~ and there is one guy look like zikai LOLOL!! anyway pool is alway the same lah, we laugh at people jump ball or we laugh at people ball go pocket loh. it's alway laughing at people there.

went to bugis! yeah bugis fever~ because THERE IS DAMN HOT LOH! sweating all the way and when we reach bugis first thing they/we do is take neoprint --. as expected most people siam~ but i never siam much lah, everytime is take properly then last minute all siam. after taking neos go see mp3~ creative zen neon - $329 yeah yeah~ cheap cheap hor? ok wait for me a few more days.

go eat ice-monster~ yum yum. see what we eat.
jasmine&me- mango ice = running nose -.-
nana- strawberry ice = lai ang LOL!
ek- kiwi ice = baby lao sai
kh- pineapple ice = RUBBISH!
tell me where got people so stupid go call pineapple ice when pineapple is the most cheap most disgusting stuff in the world and the people who do this we call them - ACT SMART ( in hokkien ) but as least my mango is nicer!!! and we went to eat food at hawker center. guess what they drink again? rubbish water. LOL

after eating go shop shop awhile liao loh. nothing much to shop cause i dont wanna buy anything too. so we wanna take bus home while waiting for bus guess what we saw? a green frong on top of the truck guess what's that? RUBBISH TRUCK then kh say i want go find food liao then he like follow the truck. LOL anyway he is the green frog who does the 3R, reuse,recycle and redues.

everything was ok for me, nothing much also. so fast holiday and so fast going exam le. GOOD LUCK TO ME! yeah~ yesterday download gunbound!! 5 mins ok? then settle le~ now downloading songs.. bb~ and visit nana blog bah =) yeah the workshop ended which mean i can sleep until the sun burn my butt!

the workshop was quite ok today but i was damn pissed by tina! damn it! i woke up this morning cause i scare if i never go then she alone very what mah so i decided to go school. who knows when im out she messaged me saying that she want to rest and just woke up so didnt go! FARK UP! i just send her a message fark lah say this kind of thing and end with a cb =x first time after so long i used vulgar. god~ STUPID PIG! SLEEP ALL YOU WANT THEN!

lucky i called bh and he still at home so i ask him to accompany me cause he is going too, on the way ek,ks came and we are so called late =x

my impression of ramesh started changing, never hate him that much nor i like him that much =x ok lah he quite friendly loh. today ramesh talk about follower and it's called SHEEP! and leader called EAGLE! oh well i met lots of sheeps in my life :> i mean it ok? haii sheep = no brain =x LOL and ramesh was bad! she insult us women and the way we laugh! he say girls act cute in neoprint *twist~ aka peace* and our way of laughing! if cheries is there he will be dead! LOL

when i was eating with my mum just now the light suddenly off itself and on back later on. DAMN IT! freak me off! yawns

and i didnt even shed a tears today~ CHEERS! but i still think of him
haii

anyway guys~ i add ramesh blog in my addy go peek at his blog =x friday now and tomorrow i still have to go back to the stupid workshop which i find it REAL LAME but abit funny lah. decided not to use mircosoft word to aid me in blogging because it's too mafan le! so whatever it's now, im using realy lousy english.

oh yeah kelvin aka weilian WON! expected also lah cause singapore want a unique singer mah told this to my mum a few weeks ago. damn it! i should bet some freaking $$ on it. anyway im happy for him too =)

ok as i written on top i went for the workshop and today TOTALLY NO SCHOOL LOH! damn good right? hai ok lah actually. i really hate betrayer you guys know? especially RAMESH! =x

i was so sad just now when im looking out at the sky and the school building. im thinking of him, just yesterday i see him and today.... haiii i cried abit a tiny weeny bit! i regret you know? yesterday should kay kay take pic with him haii.. somehow i still cant get him off my brain.. GOD HELP ME!

him: eh you all watch 3 good man already?
we: havent~
him: of cause haven't lah! tomorrow then show mah.
-.-!!!

i love my life already. i felt contented already. sometime i have bumps in my life and it's actually something good ok? it give me prepared for sadness and i wont be suffering when problem met me cause i went through it. life cant possible be so smooth for me, i know it. but god thanks for yesterday happiness! im really contented!

only heaven knows. Didn't blog for a few days did you guys miss me? Hahahaa so I shall make a review on this few days.

Monday-School as per normal and there was 4 periods of art but didn't do much either, and on that day I ask him out on Thursday. =)

Tuesday-Tina didn't come so I was alone in class but I wasn't boring because I entertain myself with making stars using star paper and after school went to Cwp to buy a perfume =p Oh ya madam Hanifa told me that she love to make people cry and ask me to be careful because she say she is thinking of ways to make me cry cause I'm control by heart, what a lame ass she is --.

Wednesday-Skipped school by they told me he went back to school, no fate~ LOL!

Thursday-OH YEAH! Went out with him,ron and tina. We watch herbie~ quite a lame show but i get to watch with him~ and he sit beside me =B
we meet at 5 plus and went to cold storage together and they get themselves a HL millk and tina say something make me lol! ask me if you all wanna know, and he got talk to us lah. then went up to long john silver and he ask wanna eat anot then i say dont want tina also dont want then he say really ar? not hungry meh? oh when he meet us he ask if we eat le mah then i say ya! then he say eat also never ask him to eat then i say how i know you wanna eat mah then he say must at least ask mah then i say okok loh! then when they eat they wanna give up their coke but we dont want bleah~ guess what he say? "aiya dont paiseh lah, why so paiseh" i was like ... we got our own drink mah.. oh when they paying us the ticket money i saw his IC damn funny the picture and he knew it cause i tip toes. then i was keeping the money in my wallet he at there see then say why so many neoprint one.. i was like cannot meh..

so went up to cinema and they drink their own milo --. so budget =/ and went in watch movie loh. omg~ i asked him if he wanna eat sweet then i just hit his hand =x machiam like friend friend like that =/ LAMEASS ME! he ask us where we wanna go then i say play pool then he asy need my IC mah. i was like HELLO~ different face leh but i didnt say it out lah. then after watching jiu take bus le. he walked with us to 913 there then he go with ron le, before he go i give him 2 presents. and he message me dont waste money le. SIANS! nevermind i'm happy enough le. thanks alots!

before that meet up with edwin,aline and tina and played arcade before we bought movie ticket.

that's it..

tomorrow dont need study cause we got workshop~ WEE~